balance.

5 Aug

bal·ance/ˈbaləns/

Noun: An even distribution of weight enabling someone
or something to remain upright and steady.
Balance. A word I love to use in my vocabulary, however, seldom use in my actions or priorities. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am an extreme person. Instead of working hard at the even distribution of weight part, I tend to make a makeshift object in my life to keep the things in my life upright and steady. Who am I kidding, I’m no craftsman, but I have become pretty good at settling for the quick and easy fixes in my life. I side on ‘going all out’ in most areas of my life which brings a lack of focus and attention to others and my life gets out of whack.
I’m the kind of person that will see a commercial on TV about orphans in Africa, ball my eyes out and then vow to quit my life here, look up plane tickets to Africa, google a orphange and plan my escape route out of the life I lead here. Then, when the next morning comes and my life is unaffected by the emotions that took place the night before, I continue on my routine instead of make any practical efforts of being the change I wish to see in the world.
I’m also the kind of person whom encounters a problem in life, who is too stubborn to admit my own stubbornness, that I take the weight of the world on my shoulders and disregard the rest of my life until the said problem is fixed…even if it’s not my problem at all.
Evenly distribute weight. Easier typed than done. If I’m not living 6 nights a week in the gym, then I’m 6 nights at work or 6 nights investing into my relationships instead of evenly balancing out them all. It’s almost as if there’s a voice in my head that tells me if I want to see results I have to commit my life to that one focus until I’ve accomplished my goal.
Well, I’ve come to the conclusion, that that voice sucks! That voice makes me miserable, unsuccessful, burnt out, tired and overworked. I think about the things I value, the things I want to be and have balance in; being a good daughter, a good friend, a good servant, a good employee, a good girlfriend, a good sister, a good granddaughter, a good person. That is what I want to have balance in.
I don’t know how Paul did it (Paul from the bible, not Paul you’re ‘possible’ friend, neighbor or acquaintance, unless he too is like Paul from the Bible, than yes, group him in here); being all things to all people (1 Cor. 9:19-23). I suppose one of the 817 differences that Paul and I might have (yes, its possible there could be slightly more) is that he learned the art of balance in his life. It’s encouraging to know/read that he wasn’t always a balanced person though. Spending the first part of his life persuing the extreme persecution of any and all christians, a few days without the light of day (literally) not only changed his focus & mission in life, but taught him balance of being and doing what he was called to.
Balance, I’m learning, doesn’t have to be done necessarily alone and in some aspects of my life it’s reassuring to know that those I surround myself with can (if I would stop being so stubborn and let them) help evenly distribute the weight and help keep those things I value from falling; being unbalanced. To be completely honest, I live my life right now equivalent to how I treat a skateboard. I jump on, gain my balance for a split second, get too cocky and attempt a move I have never been taught, nor meant to do.
I’m not sure where the whole skateboard analogy came from. I’d like to blame it on the fact that its late and I’m tired, but if you’ve read any other post on my blog, I bet the analogy didn’t even phase you. Or, chances are, you are envisioning this clumsy, blonde girl (who always talks a big game) on a skateboard challenging the skater boy from Avril Lavigne’s song to an alley-oop contest. (wow, seriously…I need some sleep, but if it helps, she only came to mind because I saw her on tv talking about her new clothing line) No, I know that didn’t help.
Oh balance, someday soon you will be so much more than just a word I long for….
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One Response to “balance.”

  1. Dimitry August 5, 2011 at 8:02 am #

    God- Balance is the key none of us seem to have. I think it’s in Corinthians Paul uses two analogies for life. A runner, and a boxer.

    On merely pushes forward, the other learns to stand firm, avoiding blowing, and returning others.

    If your meant to run- Run! Screw the concept of balance.

    One of my favorite pastors explained it this way- consider carrying a cross. 70-100 pounds. Big. It takes everything to push it along.

    It begins to… push all other things to the paripherie. The key is learning what it is YOU are meant to do… Now. And throw all you have into it.

    Perhaps Africa isn’t it. Or… It may take a few years for God to get you ready for it. There is a 14 year gap between Paul’s Conversion and his real prolonged ministry to the Gentiles. 14 years- Paul was mediocre.

    🙂

    Good luck- and God Bless.

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